To Be Loved
by Insomniac Panda-Chan
Summary: All L wanted was to be loved. *One-shot.


***DEDICATION! This is a one-shot dedicated to my Lawli-Chan. Happy Valentine's Day, koibito!***

Disclaimer: I don't own _Death Note_ or anything associated with it.

Warnings: Yaoi and L's real name. Tons of fluff, too. BEWARE!

"Talking."

* * *

The tiny clock at the corner of the computer screen seemed to mock him, showing him numbers he felt a strong desire to glare at, no matter how childish it made him look.

12:01 a.m.

That officially made it February 14th, known infamously around the world as Valentine's Day.

If he were being honest with himself, L Lawliet would say he despised this day, however irrational that may seem. It wasn't exactly the day itself that he loathed, but more along the lines of what the day represented.

Love. Something he was sorely lacking in his dreary life.

Though the few who knew him would attest to L's disinterest in love, the truth was... he craved it. The loneliness was unbearable sometimes, downright maddening at others, and just plain disheartening the rest of the time. It was true that his line of work afforded him little time for romantic endeavors, but still... it wasn't totally unthinkable, was it? To have a significant other to call his own? Was it REALLY so unreasonable a request?

He really didn't think so.

But the truth of the matter was that he had accepted long ago that he was incapable of being loved. Not even his parents had loved him as a child – neglect and cruelty were all that he remembered of his first years of life, up until Wammy had found him at the age of 5, shivering and alone. The elderly man had stumbled upon him in an alleyway, left there for dead by parents who no longer wanted him.

From then on, he resided in an orphanage run by an organization who's only goal was to use his unusually high intelligence to their advantage. There was no love there.

L often wondered if it simply would have been better if Wammy had never found him.

At the orphanage, he had been trained to not feel, to be a robot... a tool... a THING, not a person. Happiness, sadness, anger... all were banned.

Love was especially forbidden.

Love made you weak, they had said. You don't need love to solve cases, so it was not needed.

But despite their best efforts, the organization had failed.

L, though he did lack most other emotions, had craved the love he was never given. Originally, it was the love of a parent he wanted, to make up for what he had lacked as a child. But then...

Then... he met Light Yagami.

The younger man was his equal in every way imaginable: intelligence, strength, wit...

Light was also beautiful in every aspect, from his physical appearance to his charismatic attitude - L's complete opposite.

And suddenly, L began to crave love of a different nature. Not the love of a parent to a child, but the love that you feel for your significant other.

And he wanted to feel this love from Light.

Because... despite his training, and the organization's insistence that he detach himself from all emotion...

He had fallen in love with Light.

He had known it on the first day they had been handcuffed together. The two of them had been in their shared bedroom, preparing to settle down for the night, when Light had requested the cuffs be removed long enough for him to change his shirt. L had pulled out the key, a reluctant agreement, and moved to unlock the younger man's end of the cuff. Their bare hands had brushed, just a bit, and L had looked up then to gauge the suspect's reaction.

He was unprepared for the charmingly innocent smile that met him.

In that instant, L had forgotten how to breathe.

It was that smile that had caused him to fall.

L had tried to fight it, honestly he had, but when Light would smile _that_ smile, the rare and oh-so-innocent one, the one that seemed to be reserved for L and L alone, the one that made his eyes sparkle and his face glow...

L just couldn't help it.

Despite his lack of resistance, he still knew it was a foolish move on his part, as he was certain that the younger man could never feel the same way.

And who could blame him? Not much was desirable about L.

He was unattractive.

He lacked social skills.

He was trying to have Light executed as Kira.

No, not much to love there at all.

And yet... L held some small hope that maybe... just maybe... Light could learn to love him. After all, the Kira case had been closed for some time now – almost four months, to be exact. Light had been cleared of all charges when Higuchi's car had exploded, killing the Yotsuba Kira and burning his Death Note.

L never had figured out how Kira killed, but with no further evidence with which to accuse Light, he had had no choice but to let the younger man go.

Though the case had been closed, L had remained in Japan, using the building he had had built as a base of sorts.

Light was declared a free man, returning to college and often visiting the old Task Force HQ to help L with his more difficult cases.

The second Death Note remained buried in the forest, undisturbed.

And the Shinigami had returned to their world, as they no longer had a reason to stay here.

Life carried on as though Kira had never existed.

Through their constant interaction, L and Light had become the best of friends. In their spare time, the duo could often be found playing tennis or chess, or just having in-depth conversations.

L was happier than he'd ever been.

But still... he wanted more.

He wanted Light to love him, not just be his friend.

However, this was not to be, for Light was in love with another.

After the end of the case, Misa Amane had also been freed, and the two had been dating ever since. Light insisted when questioned of his relationship with the blonde that it was completely one-side, but L knew better.

Light loved her.

And there was no place in his heart for L. At least, not while Misa remained.

Misa...

L loathed her with a vengeance. The woman was unworthy of Light in all aspects, completely undeserving of the brunet's affection.

It was the clinginess he despised the most, especially when she would stick to Light like a blonde leech.

Disgusting.

Other than that, she possessed hardly any intelligence in her empty head, and that annoyingly high-pitched voice...

All in all, he just couldn't stand the sight of her, let alone the sound of her, and he ESPECIALLY couldn't stand the sight of Light and her together.

It was so unfair.

L uncurled his clenched fists (When had he done that?) as he willed himself to think of something other than the nuisance that was Misa Amane.

He needed a distraction, anything to get his mind off of the possible things Light and Misa could - and probably would - be doing on this infuriating day-

-The clock.

Really, was that the best he could do? Think about the clock to distract himself? And he called himself a _genius_? Pfft.

But just for kicks, he decided to take a tiny peek at it, in hopes that the day would miraculously be over already.

No such luck, however.

A quick glance told him that the clock now read 1:27 a.m. Barely 1:30 in the morning, and L was already fed up with this entire day.

Pathetic.

As an act of defiance, he jabbed a finger to the power button, switching off the computer and plunging the room into darkness. It mattered not that he'd just lost hours of work by not saving it first, because at least that infernal clock was also gone.

And he now had a sudden urge to curl up in bed for the duration of the day, waiting it out.

Finding this to be an acceptable course of action, L rose slowly from his swivel chair and made his way to the elevator. As he was just a few scant feet away from the shining silver doors, a sudden movement caught his eye.

It was faint, but he could make out the shape of something moving toward him.

The shape solidified, becoming more human, and it dawned on L that he wasn't alone.

His dark eyes widened in alarm, and he immediately made to escape up the stairs. His unknown guest, however, was faster, and L was tackled bodily to the floor. He winced upon the initial impact, but soon began to struggle. No one was kidnapping L without a fight!

He aimed a pointed elbow into his attacker's gut, taking great pleasure at the loud "OOF!" that was heard. Said satisfaction was short-lived, however, when the assailant began to speak.

"Stop struggling, will you!"

The dark-haired man immediately did as he was told, if only because he recognized that voice.

"Light?"

The younger man released him, backing away enough to allow L to stand. "Yeah, it's me."

L rose to his feet, reaching out a spindly hand to help the winded boy up. "What are you doing here? And why did you attack me?"

Though he was unable to see it, Light gave a mighty eye-roll at the tone of L's voice. The man sounded as though he still suspected him of being Kira. "I didn't mean to attack you, stupid. You ran, so I panicked, and I just... jumped on you. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Ah, I see." L nodded his head sagely. "There was no damage, so you are forgiven. But you have yet to answer my other question. What are you doing here, and at 1:30 in the morning, Light?"

The younger man blushed a light crimson – which went unseen by the older man in the darkness - and he became quite bashful in that instant. He looked anywhere but at L, eyes shifting around the room in his nervousness. "I... I, uh... wanted to..." The rest of the sentence was a mere mumble.

L shuffled closer to better hear the younger man. "What was that, Light?"

Rather than a verbal response, Light gathered every ounce of courage he possessed, and leaned forward to blindly press his mouth to the older man's.

L was stunned. Never, not even in his wildest dreams, did he imagine this outcome. He was being kissed by Light, the man he was madly in love with – and who appeared to return his feelings.

It was incredible.

As he returned the kiss – his first kiss, he absently mused – he became aware that something vaguely heart-shaped was being pressed into his hands. As he pulled away from Light to peruse the object, he realized that it was a heart-shaped box of candy with the words "Be Mine" scrawled across the lid.

He glanced up at Light, a questioning look in his onyx eyes, and was met with the most heart-stopping smile he'd ever seen - _that_ smile multiplied by _infinity_.

"I broke up with Misa yesterday."

This only caused the older man to blink in confusion, wondering what that had to do with him.

"L, I couldn't be with her, because I'm in love with someone else."

L's eyes widened in slight comprehension. If Light was in love with someone else, and he had just kissed L, then that meant-

"Happy Valentine's Day."

-That Light was in love with _him_.

The box of candy fell to the ground, forgotten, as the dark-haired man launched himself at Light, eagerly sealing their mouths together. Strong arms came up to encompass him, holding him in a warm embrace while the duo continued to kiss in the darkness.

And even though the younger man hadn't actually said it, it dawned on L while he was kissing Light - HIS Light - that maybe... just maybe...

...He was loved.

* * *

A/N: My first one-shot. How horrible was it? I know I should be updating _Remembrance_, but I just had to write this for my koibito. An update will come soon, though, so no worries! And any reviews left for this story will be thanked by name in the beginning Author's Note of the final chapter of _Remembrance_. Happy Valentine's day, everyone!


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